Is it fair to avoid general gender issues the same way one might avoid politics and religion?
Discussing politics, religion, аnd gender issues іѕ very risky, especially within romantic relationships. Iѕ іt kosher tο јυѕt encapsulate уουr views іn a positive way аnd јυѕt gο οn tο οthеr subjects whеn thеу come up wіth thе one уου′re dating?
Eхсеllеnt points ѕο far. Thanks.
Jenny, cute avatar аnd fаntаѕtіс pledge. Thanks.
I don’t see why not, unless you both like debating things.
Well in all honesty it is not honest…but that shouldn’t mean you shouldn’t talk about them…just take note to what the other person has to say too, not just your beliefs…and accept what the other believes in so she can accept your judgments too…
It depends on how involved or passionate they are about the issue at hand.
Sometimes, couples can avoid persons touchy subjects especially if they disagree on them bc that can cause nothing but turmoil.
On the other hand, a lot of people take political or societal thoughts and positions into consideration when deciding how much they like someone.
I would be up front and let him/her know that you arent comfortable discussing persons type of issues and that way, you can be honest without walking on eggshells.
Hope I helped
This is what most people do. Is it “honest” or “socially appeasing”, sure. Is it smart or settling?.. not for me it isnt.
Quit being so careful. Do you reckon you are going to act this way with them after 1 year, 2, 5, 10 years? You want to avoid issues and sabotage your own views and life? Man up.
in general i like to avoid controversial topics in the beginnings of romantic relationships–they’re mood killers. but, as a relationship progresses you will have to eventually reveal your thoughts about some topics to see whether the two of you are really compatible with each other.
i reckon that would be a safe bet. you’ll know if its not okay, when she doesn’t respond too much with your comments. but, if you find that she jump in on your conversations then i wouldn’t have too much too worry about. But yeah, if she finds it unsettling certainly go on to the next theme. Women delight in to converse with just about any topic. So she will find you attractive with your conversing. Excellent luck on your dating.
It’s better for you not to date than to avoid debating. And never ignore your problems as they are liable to get worse if you do.
I would never discuss gender issues with, or in front of, any female I had even the slightest intention of having sex with at some point.
If she brought it up I would change the theme.
If she persisted I would agree with whatever she said and go on.
I reckon people should lay all the cards on the table ( in a serious relationship) That way a person can make an knowledgeable choice on w/e or not to stay w/you.
If it’s casual booty call or w/e then of course you keep it mum.
I don’t reckon so, at least not in a relationship. It’s fine to kind of give a two minute positive sound-byte on the first date or in the first month, but people in steady long-term relationships really ought to join with each other on heavy issues like politics, religion, and gender issues. Persons things, if not discussed, can lead to misunderstandings that doom the relationship from the initiation.
I know why people don’t want to talk about it though. I’m already somewhat of a black sheep in my community because I associate with the “white men” so much, and when I let a feminist moment slip I can get some weird stares. I just usually keep my mouth shut about such things unless it’s someone that’s in my life a lot (like my parents or family or acquaintances) or its really really offensive.
i wouldnot force christianity on anyone
That works for me.
Personally, I’d rather know these things about my partner even if we disagree on things. Which we do at points really.
We don’t need to agree on absolutely everything, just the things that are most vital to each of us. Like wedding ceremony and abortion, we had to agree on persons to stay together. Had he disagreed with me on either, I would’ve possibly dated him longer because we had a fantastic time, but known it wouldn’t last.
Best luck =o)
I don’t reckon so. It’s best to get your thoughts about gender out of the way early so there won’t be any surprises later. I went on a date with a guy and the theme of feminism came up, so he knows now that I’m a feminist. (He agrees with it.)
My cynicism shows through even if I try to hide it (even if I’m also in some way very idealistic at the same time). Men are either turned off by it or they are intrigued by it and want to know more. My way of thinking is like hot air and cold air on your skin, hot, cold, hot, cold… eventually you can’t tell the difference between the searing heat and freezing cold because they both feel the same.
Gender issues ARE political issues and neither can be “avoided”.
It really depends on what is going on, most people prefer not to debate current affairs at social gatherings. Most social gatherings are of a type that are typically birds of a feather. In these events, all should respect the views values and opinions of others. There is nothing worse then to be an an affair and have to take note to two ego driven dolts go on about how their opinion will solve all the problems of the world.
I’m conservative, I have liberal acquaintances, I avoid these topics out of respect of the ambiance and their integrity. Unfortunately some of them don’t and insist on making their point. And I have to say, I have never seen a liberal make a point about something they are apposed to by lifting up the feelings of persons in the room.
When entering into a romantic relationship. Compatability on more then what you like in the bed room is often overlooked and often the demise of that relationship. A strong healthy relatioship requires an agreement on many basic human issues. Or an over whelming responcibility to respect the views of your partner.
What kind of relationship would this be if you couldnt even express your opinions about things? I wouldnt expect my partner to agree with me on every topic and having differences in opinion can be healthy.
holy cow, NO!
why would you avoid talking about this? yes, highly controversial topics should be avoided at work, school, in the elevator…but not in a relationship! how else are you to choose if you and your mate are a excellent match for one another?
With a casual relationship politics, religion, and gender are issues that it is best to just skip.
But with a romantic relationship it is pretty vital to have an understanding of each other’s views on politics, religion and gender. A very devout person can be pleased with an atheist, but it is best they know pretty early on otherwise it could be the nasty shock that ends the relationship.